Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
