if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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