Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
