he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
