we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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