I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
