how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
