discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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