you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
