Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
