I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
