Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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