Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
