I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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