Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
