That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
