so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
