ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize