she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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