We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
