Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
