i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
