Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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