Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize