I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
