im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
