And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
