I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
