Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
