I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
