And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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