i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's just like the Real World with babies
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
