It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
