you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
