I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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