I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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