Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
