Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
