I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
