I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
operation harelip BJ is a go
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
