1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
