Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize