he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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