Define "chronic" masturbator.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Blood and glitter go together right?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
