Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
