literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
