There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
