So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
