my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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