So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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