so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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