Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
