ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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