I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize