If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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