Where did you get a picture of my penis
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
