Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
