Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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