Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
