We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
