And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
