We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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