Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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