so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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