ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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