Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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